Allowing our Feelings

Here’s a technique for effectively navigating emotions. This is how I do it. First I notice a tightness. I don’t like it, it feels uncomfortable, it can be in the chest or a slight constriction in the throat or upper tummy can have a knot. It feels like a tight first in the sternum area at times.

I used to do my best to try not to feel it. Netflix, a glass of wine….

Now I know there’s another option. It’s has been like discovering a superpower and I highly recommend it.

“Can I just allow this feeling?”

“Yes” an inner voice answers.

“Am I willing to allow this?”

“Yes”

Without judging it in any way…..

“Can I welcome it?

Can I WELCOME it?”

‘yes and YES.”

Instantly it eases a little, just by giving it attention. Maybe that’s all it wanted. Gently it dissipates. Organically and without trying to control it or change it or resist it.

By the simple act of acceptance and allowing and welcoming.

We go from being inside the disturbed feeling, in the brain’s limbic system, to observing and feeling the emotion at the same time.

As we observe the emotion and feel at the same time, we activate the executive function part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex. By doing so we occupy the position of a kind wise parent to the scared little one in the limbic system. We are back in the driving seat.

The ironic thing is that we have to have the initial courage to lean into towards and feel the disturbance fully without thinking about it at all, just experiencing whatever disturbed emotion as it is being felt, as a sensation.

Then by listening, observing and not trying to do anything to it or judging it, or ourselves for having it…it dissipates all by itself. We experience evidence that it is safe contrary to our prior belief that it may be overwhelming.

It’s important to do this exercise initially when experiencing low level anxiety or other emotion till we are accustomed to it.

On the journey of self-awareness and emotional healing, we often encounter discomfort in the body—tension, resistance, and unease. Instead of pushing it away, what if we explored a different approach?

We can allow emotions to exist without judgment. Initially, there’s resistance to an uncomfortable sensation, but curiosity opens the door to a profound shift -

"Can I allow this feeling?"

A simple yes from within changes the dynamic. Instead of fighting or suppressing, there is space for acceptance. With further openness, the question deepens:

"Can I welcome it?"

This practice of mindful acceptance takes down stress a few notches simply be removing the pain of resisting what’s here already.

Would you like to explore this practice in your own journey? Start by noticing, allowing, and welcoming each emotion as a sensation as it arises in the body.

Those who have experienced extreme trauma are not advised to do this on your own. It takes a while for us to get used to leaning into pain after a lifetime of leaning away from it.